Гуглеры жалуются на жизнь

На просторах внутригугловского интранета я тут нашёл ресурс, на котором наконец-то рассказана вся правда о нечеловеческих условиях работы в корпорации добра. Без лишних слов представляю вам избранные жалобы гуглеров:


The free gym is too far for me to walk to. I need a free gym in my building so I can get some exercise without walking far.

The employee handbook is spread across multiple pages.

These free $100 headphones mess up my hair

Every time I get a midday massage, I end up with pillow wrinkles on my face for the rest of the day.

5 of the 8 free t-shirts I got this year are black. Kinda irritating. I prefer blue.

During our Google skydiving offsite, they promised a 50 seconds free fall, but watching the video I noticed it was only 41 seconds.

My 30" monitor blocks my view of the mountains.

The "Relax", "Refresh", and "Rejuvenate" settings for the massage chair feel exactly the same.

Sometimes when I go to get something to drink out of the micro-kitchen, it has just been restocked, so the drinks aren't even cold yet. Pretty frustrating.

The couch in my cubicle isn't quite long enough for me to fully lie down on.

The fact that Google provides 14 meals a week makes it cheaper to eat out on the weekend than stock my kitchen. As a result, I haven't had an opportunity to cook for like a year and my cooking skills are suffering.

There was no pizza left so I had to eat steak.

When the company pays for me to travel to other offices overseas the free snacks in the microkitchens are unfamiliar to me and I don't know which ones to choose.

It feels like every time I get used to a free phone, they go and give us a new one, and then I have to learn how to use that one.

Unlimited free food is making me fat.

I got sunburned a little on our Hawaii offsite.

Lady Gaga came to speak at Charlie's and I had to go the long way around to get my free lunch.

When I'm working from home I have to make my own breakfast, lunch *and* dinner.

I eat so much at the free breakfast that I'm not hungry enough in time for the free lunch.

The game room only had one beanbag, so I had to sit on a chair while playing Call of Duty.

The selection of classic arcade games in our building is too limited, and sometimes I have to walk to another building.

We built a catapult out of the custom furniture, but the ceiling is too low to launch oranges at people more than 150 feet away.

I can't see the Harbour Bridge in the morning because the sun rises over my panoramic views of the Sydney skyline and I have to lower the blinds.

I haven't gotten a free T-shirt in at least 3 months.

The sushi chef did not put enough aioli on my soft shell crab handroll.

The chalk for the pool cues is the wrong color for the table.

We have a view of the Bay Bridge from the office, but I want a view of the Golden Gate Bridge. It's prettier.

My desk is equally close to two microkitchens and I'm forced to decide which one to use.